All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Welp...herpes.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
