hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Randomize
