Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
