Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
