I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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