You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
