My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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