we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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