summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
