apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
