Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
