I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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