I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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