I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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