I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
