Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
