In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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