Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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