i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
