I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
