That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
