i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
