She went from zero to smokin in five shots
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
How does one acquire holy water?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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