Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
