So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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