It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
