Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
