we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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