White coat. Heels.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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