if i can run in heels then i can drive
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
