do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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