What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I faked an abortion last night.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
