I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
