I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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