She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
