Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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