i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
