i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
