Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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