If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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