I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
