made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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