hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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