Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
