Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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