I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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