I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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