Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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