I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
