stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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