You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
