a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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