just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
