me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
