Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
