Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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