It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
