I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
